Hmmm, wonder what the world is up to? So, I sit down, open my Mac (that may have been a plug-you decide) and start scrolling on FB. Pushing some buttons, I read the results of the keys my friends pushed as well. Oh, but wait a sec, their buttons are pushing my buttons! I understand we all have opinions, but really? Well, yea. I have my own as well.
My personal story creates the reaction to what my eyes take in, forming an offense that feels like it is a direct assault on me. It is the filter I am using to see it through.Before I realize what is happening, the arrogance that is deep in my own heart begins this elliptical journey around myself.
We have seen this happen with comments to posts, as well as I have experienced it first hand as well. I know this is reality. What gets baffling for me, is when we are offended by what we read and start to feed into it.
My head "What did I just let myself get ensnared in?" Well, so and so thinks this... or likes a post that I find highly offensive... or this is plain trifling (meaning: trivial, petty, or not worthy of trust) therefore I need to state my opinion and make sure I get my point across. I read. “No, I’m not arguing, there is just some things you need to understand, or see about your values and opinions!” Hmmm, this is getting very sticky! Watch out, you are now heading into deep space in an orbit where you are the center. Reality check, please!
Emotions run high, people are offended, opinions are wrong, and I’m mad because of it. We have all been in the situation and seen this happen in our lives, on social media, or via our favorite entertainment. How do our emotions get us in a fluster over what someone thinks or says? Why do we care? No matter who is doing the button pushing, whether viewing or experiencing, some people react explosively and others don’t even flinch. Why is that? Why can some people hear gut wrenching feedback take it, while another goes off on you simply because you made an observation?
Let’s Start Off With Two Unpopular Claims.
{ Claim One } Emotions don’t descend from the heavens like rain upon you. You did not absorb them via osmosis. Others don’t make you mad, you make you mad. You and only you, create your emotions. It is the human experience. Maybe even as simple as perception.
{ Claim Two } Once these emotional creations have appeared, here are a couple ways of dealing with them. You can act upon them or be acted on by them. Strong emotions will master you or you will be able to keep your emotions hostage.
I think, So, how do I change so that I am not mastered? Are these claims true? Why am I so insecure? What happens between someone else’s actions/behavior and my response that is less than stellar? Okay, I get that it is mine to own when someone does something I don't like.
My past was me running to people looking for something outside of myself f as if I couldn't trust my own thoughts or feelings. What did I expect? There can feel like there is an underlying current of a need to be heard, seen or validated? Now I just take my new dipper to an old well and drink of the mercy and grace being offered to me freely.
Well worn is the path to that old well of refreshing cool of grace is at the bottom. I get grace to get grace. Do you hear me? Drinking from the old well gives me an understanding of grace in all its fullness for my life.
Worst Case Scenario Responses
The worst case scenario to change our response Is to not change. Continuing to let my emotions keep me in bondage is fine, besides I don't notice how tight these shackles are anymore. I’m so used to them.
A better worst case scenario to change our response: Is to keep my emotions under control. Believing things will not get worse. I will keep this lump in my throat for now, and then make sarcastic jabs, and critical statements instead of dealing with this in a proper way.
Here are some very important questions to continue to ask myself with the goal to obtain that freedom, I SOOO desperately desire.
Did I first pray? (speaking to God, especially if I'm frustrated or hurt)
Am I being mindful of others?
Is it kind, necessary, or building up those who listen, or read my response?
Am I speaking with purpose?
Does responding improve being in stillness or silence?
Okay, after I observe what others are doing/saying and right before I start to feel a negative stirring, RIGHT HERE is where I insert the story I believe! Here is where I am adding meaning and my perspective on what another is thinking and feeling to a simple behavior and/or motive. Then on top of that I add judgement. Then based on this belief my body and brain responds with an emotion.
Taking control of my emotions is as simple as telling a different story? Since it is me telling my self the story, it can be one of freedom and the new creation started in me. This is the leverage that I dearly want. Rethinking and retelling my story is how I can master my responses to offenses and hurtful words. My story can change slowly. Each day a new page I can tell my Soul Story.
When I hurt by what he said, or she did, I get to shut the door, and be quiet. Words are just mere slivers of what my heart needs to say, yet I am understood in the silence. A full life is getting to feel my wounds deeply, while intimacy heals them. Our emotions are about our faith.