Starting fresh cuz today is my birthday! As the journey does, it has led me right back to where I started. So, I can begin again. This time from experience. My lifetime has been a journey finding my soul's voice sifting through the fear and intimidation that has kept me silent. My last journey around the Sun was exponentially transformative for my spiritual walk with the experience of letting go in ways unexpected.
As an analogy, this letting go felt very much like : worn armor that has protected me with an appearance of fitting in with style that suddenly I could no longer conform to. As I began to disassemble, it was astonishing to find outdated beliefs in my modern world.
Ironically, as my journey led me back home to my soul's voice it become archaic to demonize spirituality that doesn't follow the status quo. As I was unfolding seeing my spirituality as a celebration, I began drowning in the religious mainstream. So I began asking myself again the same questions that my religion simply can't answer logically for my soul to be in peace.
Praying for God to take the scales off my eyes was a series of experiences that showed just how ill fitting my armor actually had become as I watched with opened eyes. Withdrawing from the overload of externals that were overwhelming me, and limiting who and what has access to me, required to also step back from the religious institution that I was passionately committed to for 17+ years. God was clear that now is a time to go slow to be still and know. Certainly, the last thing that I expected to no longer fit in, was my church.
When are we going to respect others without inserting how we disagree? Wouldn't be a source of light to simply admire that we all are good and brilliant because we are human made in the image of God. Like, can we just live this out as a fundamental human decency? Can I respect that in myself first? If not, where am I stuck in behaviors of not respecting myself? What I found is the ending is the beginning.
Never once in all my wandering has there been condemnation from God approaching The Throne of Grace. But, what I did realize is that condemnation came consistently from humans. As I sift through the grit of my soul's metaphorical desert a vibrant hope became my birthright. Understanding that we get to shine brilliantly. We get to lift our eyes to Heaven. We get to overcome religious shame and trauma that shaped how we see ourselves and God to one of health and wholeness. May you remember you are loved, and so very good beautiful human. Namaste`